Shortly after a piece about her story came out in the New York Times, Cowan started receiving various phone calls regarding her memoir. She thought her journey had ended when the book was published, but conversations from these calls helped her gather more details she felt were necessary to include. Because of this, the paperback copy of The Secret Life of Dorothy Soames contains an additional chapter with this new information. Even with the conclusion of her memoir, there were still a number of mysteries that remained, such as, where did her mom learn how to play the piano? Where did she get her upper crust accent? Many of these questions are still left unanswered.
Does Cowan think her relationship with her mother would have been different if she knew of her mom’s history and issues? “I do think it would have made a difference if I’d understood early on, but as a child, I’m not sure you really understand the concept of inter-generational trauma and all of that… Looking back, I think that my mother and what she went through was so horrific that I’m not sure if we can parse through and say, ‘well if this had happened and this had happened’ it would’ve been that significantly different, you know? Perhaps.”

Both the families and the children of them, you could sense how impactful the book was for them that they felt heard and believed.


The need for nurturing, for love, prompts the need for food and without tenderness and security in early childhood, the ability to form meaningful and healthy attachments is irrevocably damaged.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS
Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!